Lately, in the small spiritual exploration groups I’ve been leading, I’ve noticed a commonality: relatively privileged people who feel uniquely overwhelmed at the state of our country. They feel like what they do, even who they are, is never, ever enough. One of my core principles in spiritual direction is to companion people toward the universal holy truth that they are enough, and always have been, and from this place they can help repair the world.
I understand the overwhelm. The onslaught of dehumanizing and demoralizing images and language, the disruption to families and neighborhoods and ways of life, is meant to make us feel outraged yet powerless. Of course, many people in the United States have felt this way forever, and some of us are just waking up to it, at least the proximity of it. Feeling outraged yet powerless is a particularly difficult combination in the face of our American individualism, which tells us that we need to either fix it alone, be sad alone, or ignore what’s going on and live life. None of that is spiritually sound.
In my spiritual guidance sessions, I’ve been offering that care for the soul right now might include three important things:
1) Practicing “two pockets,”
2) Discernment around what is our work and then taking action, however small, and
3) Rest in something bigger than ourselves.
Two Pockets
In Martin Buber’s Tales of the Hasidim, Buber tells of 18th century Jewish Rabbi Simcha Bunim. Rabbi Bunim told his disciples that everyone must have two pockets. In the right pocket are the words “For my sake the world was created,” and in the left pocket, “I am but dust and ashes.”
As I understand it, we are to reach into the applicable pocket as needed. When I feel nihilistic, I remember “For my sake the world was created.” To me this means how I go about my day matters. The soulful interactions I have with everyone I encounter, the way I treat my life and my body as sacred opportunities, the way I feel and act like I am a beloved and known child of God and so is everyone else – it all matters.
When I feel all of my problems are too important, when I feel any current pain or heartache or worry is going to last forever, when I feel I should be in charge of everything, I remember: “I am but dust and ashes.”
And then, of course, the mystical perspective is to practice being both at the same time. Sometimes this right-sizes me to “medium.” Sometimes this allows me to be both big and little at once, which is a new way of being human.
Our Work
When we aren’t right-sized, our answers to the question “What should I do?” are typically “Everything” or “Nothing.” Because we can’t do everything, we end up doing nothing, which is actually more exhausting and spirit-crushing than doing literally anything.
Once we get right-sized, we can better discern what is actually ours to do and to take effective action. In this discernment process, I appreciate Deepa Iyer’s Social Change Ecosytem Framework. As Iyer says, the Framework can help people clarify values to identify the natural role each of us might play.
“Our work” is often a unique combination of things that feel like a natural fit for our lives and abilities plus things that feel meaningful and gratifying. Finding your work likely will involve trial and error, reflection with companions about what you like to do and are good at, and centering practices like journaling, movement, meditation, or prayer – practices that allow what you already know to rise to the surface. Howard Thurman called it “Listening for the Sound of the Genuine;” this piece takes some time and attention but is stunning.
Something clients struggle with is the sense that they should want to do everything. It often goes like, “In order to be a good person, I should…” or “If I really cared I should be…” In spiritual direction, we always examine shoulds.
Not everyone needs to march at a protest, limit their purchases to companies that currently seem “good,” donate money, speak out on social media, or email their elected representatives (to name a few). But all of us can pick a couple of things to do from a wider list. It is at times counterintuitive but taking imperfect action is often the best remedy for overwhelm (this idea has many authors but I love the way Oliver Burkeman gets at it).
Ordinary people can change the world, can be a force in human history…in moments like these, I’m reminded that evil always goes too far, and therefore it contains within itself the seed of its own destruction. We just have to help it, and so I’m going to keep pushing, and I’m going to keep the faith. – Senator and Reverend Raphael Warnock
Rest in Something Big
We’re living in the attention economy. Those who profit off the attention economy know this incredibly valuable resource is best captured when we are fed content that makes us angry. In so many ways, the cruelty is the point.
Consuming so much terrible news and being upset all the time is exhausting. Even when we manage to take action, we can forget that we are part of the collective and our work is not supposed to fix everything but be a small part of something greater.
When we go looking for relief we are told that self care looks like excess: numbing out, bingeing, or seeking external perfection. On the contrary, rest in something greater than ourselves is nourishing and peaceful. It is being held. For me, it’s often resting in a loving God who knows everything already. There are no words I need to say to be understood, and nothing I need to do to be ok. It is rest in pure love.
I also find solace in the largeness and ancientness of the great outdoors. I practice giving Mother Nature what is too big for me to hold, knowing that she can handle it. I find rest in the power of chosen ancestors, in the stubbornness of the human spirit, in the knowledge that it has always been a struggle and yet, here we are.
Some religious communities are places where we can go to rest in something big. Some spiritual practices hold space for this kind of rest, too. Sometimes it is just asking the question, “How does this problem appear from the perspective of a year from now, or 10 years, or eternity?”
This does not mean that what is going on is not a problem right now, but rest can give us the chance to gain perspective and practice being in the middle of something greater than ourselves. We are increasingly accustomed to having answers, to believing we can control knowable results. I don’t think we get to know how this one ends. As Austrian poet Rainer Maria Rilke wrote, “I live my life in widening circles that reach out across the world. I may not ever complete the last one but I give myself to it.”
I have heard Kyrie Eleison (Lord, have mercy on us) called the prayer we pray when we don’t know how to pray, when we don’t know what to ask for anymore because the troubles are so numerous. Right now I am praying it daily (and we must listen to the Mister Mister version, right?!). I send my love to you and work hard to send it to the people I least want to send it to as well. Let me know if anything here particularly resonated with you; I always love to hear how Love and the Spirit are working within you.
